Dancing in the rain
by Rubyliday
Summary: Rin has been with Lord Sesshoumaru for almost twenty years, but there are things that she does not know about him. With these new discoveries will they be able to continue together? Will fear push love out of Rin's heart?
1. Chapter 1

The constant drum of rain on the roof kept Rin awake, just like every other rainy night. She found that the sound both calmed and called out to her soul, begging for something. When she had been younger, the thunder and lightning had frightened her and she would hide under her covers till morning. But being with her master made Rin feel safe and she had eventually overcome her fears.

She had actually came to love the rain and nights when the days warmth had lingered, she would slip from the castle and dance. The rain, that soaked her to the bone, seemed to wash away everything, leaving her bare and new. The dancing filled her with a hope and a joy that she could never put into words. Although it was something she loved, she never told a soul and she would defiantly never tell her master. Deep down, she feared his reaction. It was the only fear she had, to disappoint him.

He wouldn't show his displeasure, he never did. To him, emotion was a sign of weakness. Rin knew that he knew she danced in the rain, there was no way he didn't. That was one of the many reasons that her master was feared and respected, he seemed to know everything. But Rin knew there was one thing he didn't know, that he may never know. Ever since she had reached her sixteenth summer, Rin couldn't help but feel more then just respect for the ruler of the Western lands. Although many humans and demons alike cringed in fear of her master, she only awed in his presence. Now in her nineteenth year, she no longer saw him as a father figure, but looked to him with an underlying need. When she found herself woken in the middle of the night, she was no longer surprised that he was the cause. His face filled her dreams and when she woke, there was always a tight coiling in the pit of her stomach.

Over the many years she had been with him, his appearance had changed only the slightest. Anyone else wouldn't notice the few lines at the corner of his eyes or that his hair was minimally duller. No, only Rin would notice, because she was madly in love with Lord Sesshoumaru.

Rin let out a small sigh as she threw back her blankets and rose from the bed. The day had been warm and muggy, a storm at the edge of every cloud. Finally, just before bed, the hold broke and a large storm had developed over the land. It was still rather warm out and Rin needed the calm patter of rain to ease her mind. She needed to, if only for a moment, wipe him from her thoughts, otherwise there would be no hope for sleep.

She slid back the door, gingerly closing it behind her, and tiptoed down the maze of hallways. The castle was large, in Rin's opinion to large. When she had first come to stay at the castle, she had become lost in the maze of hallways many times. On a few occasions, she had been found huddled in a corner, crying and afraid she would never find her way. But that was when she was younger, now she knew the castle like the back of her hand.

A floor board creaked under her foot and Rin cringed at the noise. It seemed to echo through the entire castle, threatening to wake everyone. She knew it was stupid to be so quite, he would already know she was moving about. At times Rin wondered if her master ever slept for she had only seen him resting once. That was the first time they had ever met.

After she rounded the last corner, ahead of her was the large staircase that lead to the main lobby. It was the last stretch before she could reach the large main doors. But before she could make it there, she would have to pass his room. Rin paused for a moment, his image coming to mind then she hurried past his closed door, down the stairs and out the door.

When she finally made it outside she let out a sigh as the rain fell on her upturned face. Almost instantly her hair plastered itself to her forehead and cheeks, slick with rain. Her kimono became heavy and clung to her body.

The moon was full that night and everything took on a ghostly shine. Rin marveled in the beauty as she walked down the short steps, away from the front door. She stood with her hands held up to the sky, face turned up, and mouth open. Nothing tasted better to her then fresh rain.

She started to spin in a circle, her wet sleeping kimono flapped around her thighs. She let out a laugh when the vision at the corner of her eyes blurred. Everything around her blurred into lines of color, the only clear object was the moon above her. The rain fell harder as she slowed her movements, her head becoming light feeling. As the rain came down in sheets, the fog became thicker, making Rin feel like she was walking among the clouds. She took a step towards the castle doors and let out a shaky laugh when her world spun. She still hadn't regained her balance after spinning and she couldn't see straight.

In her dizzy state, she thought she saw movement out of the corner of her eye. When she jerk in the direction of the movement, Rin lost her footing and stumbled forward. When she hit the ground, she felt the skin on her hands and knees rub away. Rin sucked in her breath as she shifted to sit on the ground, inspecting her wounds. Her hands were skinned, muddy, and pink, but nothing that a little washing wouldn't help.

Her knees were a different story. They had taken the brunt of the fall and it showed. The skin had peeled away and drops of blood mixed with dirt. She gingerly tried to wipe away the gravel, but stopped when it began to sting. She pushed herself up from the ground, conscious of her skinned hands, and headed back to the castle. The rain continued to down poor as she pushed the heavy doors closed behind her. She would have loved to stay longer, but her knees stung and she wanted to get the cuts cleaned up.

When Rin reached the top of the stairs, she froze in her tracks. The door she has passed earlier, Lord Sesshoumaru's door, was now cracked open, a light flickering from within. Her heartbeat sped up and just the thought of her master had her feeling like butterflies were fluttering in her stomach. She tried to tell herself that his door had been open when she first left, but she knew the truth. Getting the strength to pass his door took every ounce of bravery she had. She took a deep breath, held it for a moment, and then headed past the open door. Just as the sliver of light fell on her body, she heard a voice call her name. Rin felt her heart jump up into her throat and for a second she was sure it would choke her.

When she finally regained her composure, she walked over to the door. Rin stood just outside the room, her hands entwined in front of her and her head hung low. She didn't want to step into the room, as much as she would love to see her master. Her clothes were still wet and her knees were still bloody and dirty.

"Yes master?"

"Come here Rin." she desperately wanted to run, she wished that her feet would take her away. She didn't want him to see her like this, no not like this. But there was nothing she could do, nothing that could make Rin disobey her master.

She slowly pushed the door open, taking ever minute that she could. When Rin finally stepped into the room, the warmth hit her in waves. On the far wall, a fire burned in the fireplace, its flames danced and flittered. Now that her rain soaked clothes were beginning to cool, she welcomed its warmth.

When she had been younger, she had once wandered into lord Sesshoumaru's bedroom. She was of course reprimanded, but she never forgot what it looked like. At the time she had awed at the size of the bed, thinking that she could easily fit an entire family of five in it. She had run her hands along the white fur rug in front of the fireplace, nuzzling her cheek against it. When she had been discovered, her gaze had been glued to a picture above the fireplace. In the picture was a beautiful woman with long silver hair, just like her masters. What had really caught Rin's attention on that day, had been the magnificent smile that the woman was wearing.

Aside from the bed and fireplace, the only other thing in the room had been a tall oak wardrobe. She looked to her left, seeing that very same wardrobe, then above the fireplace to share a smile with the un-aged woman. She knew, without a doubt, the bed would be to her left, for her master was a man of little change.

When she finally brought her gaze to the bed, Rin's heart began to beat against her rib cage and a heat that challenged even the fires warmth, started to pool in her stomach. For on the bed, propped up against the pillows, was lord Sesshoumaru. It wouldn't have caused such a reaction from her if it wasn't for the fact that he was shirtless. His beautiful skin seemed to glow in the fire light, his firm muscles twitched slightly under taunt ivory skin. The twitch of his abs caught Rin's attention, and she took in the sight of his body. His broad chest blended down into a narrow waist with two large purple marks that disappeared at the waist of his hakama. Rin blushed when she realized where her sights had settled and she quickly dropped her gaze to her feet. For a long moment, neither said a word and Rin was afraid she would go insane from the silence. Finally, just before her breaking point, Sesshoumaru spoke up.

"You should be in bed." she felt her heart drop, she had done what she feared most, she had disappointed him.

"Yes master, I will go there now." Rin turned to exit the room but was stopped by a small noise from her master. To her ears it sounded like a low, short growl and for some reason, Rin felt a tight pull in her body. The feeling started in her chest and made a mad dash to her stomach were is settled and sank ever so slowly. She turned her attention back to the bed to find Sesshoumaru standing next to it. His eyes had fallen to the bottom of her night gown and Rin remembered that she had yet to clean up her knees.

"Rin you have been careless." he moved closer to her and Rin felt her heartbeat speed up a notch. Just being close to the man made her feel dizzy and weak in the knees. As a reflex, she took a step backwards. She needed to get away from him, to get away from the things that he made her feel. But she knew that she wouldn't leave, that her heart wouldn't let her leave. Sesshoumaru brought his gaze up to meet hers, a fleeting shining in his eyes. "After all these years, do you fear this Sesshoumaru now Rin?"

"N-no lord Sesshoumaru, I just-" her words fell short. She couldn't tell him, not now that he seemed disappointed in her. It would seem that she was just trying to keep his love. His love? Was there even that of his for her to have? She had already taken to mind the fact that he let her stay with him, never telling her to leave. But it seemed like he did it out of obligation, he wouldn't become attached to a mere human. The thoughts running through her mind, the ones that frequented her subconscious, made her heart ache.

While Rin had been caught up in an inner battle, she hadn't noticed her master moving around the room. When she snapped back to reality, he was kneeling in front of her, a water basin at her feet and a rag in his hand. The sight made something inside of Rin snap. Seeing her master kneeling in front of her, a human, humbled Rin.

The light from the fire flickered over Sesshoumaru's body, giving him an unearthly glow. His long hair cascaded over his back, a few strands falling in front of his shoulder. From Rin's position she could see the smooth skin of his neck, the broad span of his shoulder blades that shifted with his movement, and the silky curve of his lower back that dawned those newly familiar purple lines.

Sesshoumaru dipped the rag into the water, rung it out and brought it up to Rin's right knee. The combination of the cold water and the stinging feeling caused Rin to let out a low hiss. The jolt as well, snapped her out of her trance like state. She realized that she was indirectly belittling her master. Here she was standing in front of him, letting him tend to her wounds. She could easily take care of them herself and she knew, he didn't owe her a thing.

"Please lord Sesshoumaru, I can do this on my own." she took another step backwards only to have her masters hand grab the back of her left thigh. The contact sent a shiver through Rin's body and a feeling similar to spinning coursed through her.

"Rin it is apparent that you can not, or else you would have never sustained these injuries." she knew he was right, she had been careless, childish. Even though she agreed with his words, she couldn't let him do this, for more reasons then she would have liked to admit. The fact was that his nearness, his hand on her thigh, and his eyes, were causing her body to react. The heat that had settled in her stomach was getting hotter and the junction between her legs had started a slow rhythmic pulse. Rin tried again to pull away from the man in front of her, but she was stopped by another low growl. Rin felt the same familiar pang course through her body and her womanhood became slick and wet.

As if her thigh had caught fire and burned him, Sesshoumaru jerked his hand away. The very eyes that seemed to read Rin's thoughts took on a red tint for the briefest moment, then it was gone. Sesshoumaru rose from his position on the floor and took a step back. His eyes never left hers as he slowly back away, closer to his bed. Rin remained motionless, unsure as of what to do. She didn't have long to wonder, Sesshoumaru turned away and then spoke.

"Rin go to bed, now."

"Lord Sesshou-"

"Now Rin." his words were short and hard, striking Rin as if he had physically hurt her. She quickly turned from the man and ran out of the room. Rin made her way blindly through the hallways, the tears blurred her vision and threatened to fall from her eyes. She knew she had done something, but what she didn't know. Surely he couldn't have been that upset about her going out in the rain, she had done it many times before without him speaking up.

She finally, thankfully, made it to her room. Rin jerked the door open then slide it shut with a slam and threw herself on the bed. The tears at bay finally came forth, spilling down her cheeks and dampening her pillow. She wasn't one to cry, but the tears came relentlessly none the less. Finally when she could cry no more, sleep over took her. The finally thought on her mind, a vow that she would make it up to him.


	2. Chapter 2

The next few days went by without Rin seeing neither hide nor hair of her Master. The only sign that he was still in the castle was the orders passed through Jaken. She eagerly obeyed, to wake in the morning or when to eat, hoping that he would hear of her obedience.

The skin on her knees had begun to heal, leaving scabs where the flesh had broken. The marks on her hands were no longer visible, the skin had become somewhat rougher, but otherwise it wasn't bad.

It had rained the night before, but Rin had stayed in bed. She had been worried of a repeat of ithat/i night. Something about her Master, his touch, his eyes, had excited Rin. Not a night had gone by that her Master didn't plague her dreams, robbing her of sleep and walking her with that increasingly familiar feeling.

Tonight was no different. Rin lay awake in her bed, images flashing across the back of her closed eye lids. Ever since her master had touched her thigh, Rin's dreams had taken on a completely different nature. She had woken in a sweat, most of the moisture pooling between her legs. In her dreams, hands would roam over her body, leaving goose bumps in their wake. The hands would caress her thighs moving slowly up to the junction between her legs where they would increase their pressure. It was then, always then, that her Masters face would materialize within her dreams, the nameless hands being replaced by his own.

Rin let out a pent up sigh as she shifted in the bed, pressing her thighs together. Before her wild mind could get any further off its normal track, Rin swung her legs over the bed and pushed her up and out of it. She decided that she needed a change of scenery.

Grabbing the candlestick from beside her bed, Rin quickly exited her room and closed the door behind her. Her destination lie within the bowels of the old castle but the route was not unfamiliar to her. She made a right just outside of her room, away from the main doors and the room of her Master. She headed through the maze of hallways, never stopping to second guess her quick footsteps.

When her feet had finally stopped, she had reached her destination. The library. It was by far her favorite room in the entire castle and the second largest. The shelved walls were covered with every topic imaginable and then some.

Rin had learned to read at a young age, Master Jaken had insisted. He had told her that it was pointless to have a human about the castle, but even worst to have an illiterate one. Although she had hated the long hours sitting next to the foul smelling imp, she was ever so grateful she could read now. She often spent countless hours in the library, often too engrossed in a book to remember to eat. She was constantly being reprimanded for it, earning her more grief from Master Jaken.

She had read almost every topic, from fairy tales to land treaties, though she never told Lord Sesshoumaru about the latter knowing he would be none too pleased. Though her selection for books was becoming smaller as the years went by on account of her avid reading, it didn't hinder her from lingering in the grand room.

Rin now pulled the candle stick from within the folds of her sleeping kimono and lit it on one of the still burning torches that graced the castle walls. With a hand protectively in front of the small flame, Rin pushed open one large door and slipped into the library. Rin paused for a moment, letting her eyes adjust to the change. When finally she could see enough to move, Rin made her way over to a large chair in the far corner of the room. She lit another torch that hung from a long chain hooked to the ceiling, adding more light to the room.

Before blowing out the candle in her hand, Rin decided to search for a new book that she could read. She skimmed over the fairy tales and finding she had read them all, she moved to the family history. To her disappointment she had read all those books as well.

She moved around the room, looking through the sections of books, disappointment building by the minute. She chided herself for reading so much and leaving nothing to read at times when she needed books the most, like now. She passed the section dedicated to arithmetic, never having an interest in the subject, when she paused. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a flicker of gold. She turned to face the wall and saw that the flicker had been the candle light hitting one of the books writing. She moved closer to the book like a moth to a flame. The book was bound in a crimson red and had large gold lettering that said MATHEMATICS. Simple enough.

Suddenly felling a pang of interest in the beautifully bound book, Rin reached out and grabbed it. To her shock and dismay, when she had pulled the book, it had tilted on its edge and a loud click resounded through the empty library. With a rumble and shake, the entire column of books moved back and slide into the wall to Rin's left. In the now open space in front of Rin laid a set of stairs that spiraled down and out of sight. The candle in her hand had blown out when the door had first open with a gust of wind. She set it on a row of books, still slightly stunned by her discovery.

There were more torches lining the wall of the passage way and they disappeared down along with the stairs, down to…. something. Curiosity getting the better of her, Rin stepped out of the library and into the corridor. The air was considerably cooler, even with just a few feet difference and the stones under her bare feet were icy, almost wet feeling. A small shiver ran through her and Rin was unsure whether it was from the cold or from the feeling of foreboding running up her spine. Adding to the change in temperature, there was a change in Rin's confidence, but never one to back down; she stepped further into the secret corridor.

Her feet padded quietly on the stones as she descended down the stairs and she wished she had dawned she slippers before leaving her room. Her heart felt like it was going a mile a minute and the beating was almost a roar in her ears. She was sure that if someone came up the stairs, her heart would burst from her chest. On the verge of turning back, she finally spied the bottom of the stairs, and a door. The heavy looking wooden door was slightly ajar, a flickering light shining from within. When the murmur of voices floated out from the room, Rin paused on the second to last step. From her position she could see into the room and what she saw cause the breath in her lungs to hitch.

In the room, chained to the wall that Rin could see was a beautiful yokai. Her fur was tan with seal point markings on her ears, face, hands and feet. Beautifully stunning blue eyes peered out from half closed eyelids. Aside from being chained, the cat yokai seemed to be perfectly fine.

The felines head lulled to the side as her gaze rose to look at someone Run couldn't see. Her curiosity getting the better of her once again, Rin moved off the steps and slid closer to the door. The voices that were once unintelligible became clear. The woman chained was talking to whomever it was that Rin could still not see.

"Keep me here as long as you like, you won't get a word from me. Kill me if that's what you wish, but there are hundreds more that will take my place." the once relaxed look that woman had was gone and a look of utter hatred settled over her. Her head was held high in a sign of pride and her limbs were taunt with anger.

From the words that the woman had spoken, Rin could only guess that she was one of the revolters. Lately there had been an uprising all over Japan, one that threatened to overthrow all with a noble status. Human or not. When the news had been passed on to her master, he had shown no interest, so it puzzled Rin as to why the woman was even in the castle. Surly Lord Sesshoumaru didn't know that this person was here.

Lost in her thoughts, Rin realized that the other person in the room was speaking.

"Then let the hundreds come, they will mean little. Just as you mean nothing to me." Rin felt a jolt of fear run through her. The person speaking with such distain in their voice was none other than her Master, Lord Sesshoumaru. The blood in her veins froze and she felt as if her heart stopped beating all together. Finally he stepped into view, only a few feet away from the woman. The yokai brought her head up even higher and then jerked her head forward, a string of saliva making its way to Sesshoumaru's cheek. Rin's hand flew to her mouth, utterly stunned by the woman's disregard for her own life. She knew her master would surely not allow that. No one dared to show him such disrespect.

When Rin's hand had slapped against her mouth, the woman chained to the wall had turned her eyes in Rin's direction. The eye contact made Rin jump, her once frozen blood was pumping through her veins at an alarming rate. As the woman's mouth curved to a smile, there was a bright glow of green and a sizzling snap that made Rin jump for the second time. The woman's head fell against her chest but didn't stop there. The head rolled down her body and landed with a sickening thud at her furred feet.

"M...master…" the sound brought Sesshoumaru's head snapping in Rin's direction. His bloodied claws, lifted out in front of him, glowed again with the neon green, ready to strike.

Rin's eyes widened and she spun on her toes, retreating up the stairs. She stumbled and crawled in her haste, reopening the wounds on her knees. But the pain was nothing compared to the fear that propelled her up and out of the cold stairwell.

It was true that she had seen her Master kill another before, but it had always been to save her or Master Jaken's life, never for a reason Rin didn't know.

Her feet slipped on the carpet of the library as she made a sharp turn towards the large doors. When she fell to her knees, her body was a mass of scrambling arms and legs. Finally regaining her foot hold she launched toward the exit. Her mind clouded with fear was not working properly and she fell against the door, pushing with all her strength.

"Rin." the voice came calm and quickly, freezing Rin in her tracks. She gave one last push at the door and slumped against it.

The voice spoke again when Rin didn't respond. And if it weren't for her current state, Rin would have sworn there was a hint of concern in the completely male and intoxicating voice. She shook her head, shaking lose the utter insanity she was sure she was slipping into.

Over the years of traveling with Sesshoumaru, never had he ever expressed a feeling besides anger. And even then anyone that didn't know him well, they would have missed the slight change in expression. All the normal emotions that people, that demons and human possessed, didn't apply to the static yokai.

Her own slow rhythmic heartbeat began a dull thud in her head, worse where her forehead made contact with the large wooden doors. Her nails scratched against the ancient wood and she slowly pushed away from the only thing keeping her up. With a heavy hearted sigh and a great battle of conscious, Rin turned to face the Lord of the Western lands.

She was almost sure that he would look different, that he would look hideous to her. She almost wished it was so. But that wasn't the case at all. He was just as gorgeous as he always was. His face, his clothes, even his hair was exactly the same. And for a moment his sure beauty overtook all of Rin's fears. The moment was short lived as Rin's gaze feel to the deadly hand that had ended the woman's life with a quick flick. The memories rushed back, filling Rin with renewed fear. Blinded by fear and fueled by a stronger feeling, Rin confronted the man in front of her.

"Y...you killed that woman!" So many emotions, so many feeling and it was leaving Rin feeling raw and completely out of her element. She stood staring at her master, demanding an answer from him and secretly praying to kami that he would lie to her. Her subconscious screamed at him to tell her it had been a dream and usher her back to bed, to tell her that nothing had happened. She would have given anything at that moment for him to be able to read her mind.

"What this Sesshoumaru does is of no concern to you." A feeling suddenly grew stronger then all the rest and Rin new without a doubt it was sickness churning in her stomach. She stumbled backwards to slump against the door again, thankful for its willing support. The sturdy wood didn't ask for anything in return, it just gave Rin the reinforcement she needed, without protest. The tears welled up in her eyes and she tried, without successes to keep them at bay. She hated her human emotions and the demon standing in front of her was to blame for that hatred.

Her entire life with her Master was her trying to please him, but she wouldn't have had it any other way. But now, now it frustrated Rin to the verge of tears, hell it frustrated her bto/b tears. All her life, her reborn life, she had been holding in feelings, watching her step, trying to be the perfect child. The perfect woman. Her life had boiled down to exist around this one man and because of that, his words stung.

The preverbal damn broke.

"No! You're wrong." she stood again, fists balled, gathering all the courage she could to face a man that very few dared to cross. But she was afraid that if she didn't speak now, she might never say what needed to be said. She couldn't live in that kind of silence. Her words came out labored, between heart retching sobs.

"You…are…wrong." she stopped, trying to catch her breath, afraid she might pass out from lack of air. "It matters to me greatly." Rin paused again, trying to register the demons emotions. The only sign that he was even paying attention was that almost mocking rise of his eyebrow. Enraged by it, fueled by the lack of emotion, Rin trudged on. "How could it not? I spend every day here, with you and you tell me what you do is none of my concern?! If that is how you expect me to feel, is that how you feel towards me? Am I of no concern to you?" her body moved forward with a mind of its own, her arms swaying in the air as she spoke, as if it would get the point across better. Her face was flush and her eyes itched from the tears she had shed, but nothing could stop Rin from doing what she was about to do.

Her movements had brought her only a few inches from the man she was addressing and she had to tilt her head back to look at his face. Still expressionless. Her voice came out in a whisper.

"Do I mean nothing to you?" her hands moved up to rest on Sesshoumaru's shoulders, and he visibly flinched. All she wanted from him was a reaction, and from what she was going to do, she knew she would get more. She rose on the tip of her toes, moving with a slow but deliberate speed.

When her lips brushed over his, Sesshoumaru flinched again and a small shudder spread over his body. Rin smiled against his lips and pressed her own firmly against his. She had little experience in kissing; none to be accurate because she knew kissing her dolls didn't count. Occasions where Rin actually had seen kissing were far and few between, but she thought she understood the concept well enough. The action was brave on her part, downright foolish.

With a swift push of his hand, Rin found herself pushed up against the all too familiar wooden doors. Towering above her stood her master, his breath shallow and his eyes tinted red. Like a bucket of ice water, Rin felt the fear she had before wash over her. Yes she felt the fear and she could see the red spreading over the normally expressionless eyes.

Sesshoumaru shook his head and closed his eyes. The hand positioned just to the left of her head flexed, the nails digging into the wood. When he spook, his words were almost distorted, his voice much deeper and far more sinister then Rin had ever heard.

"Rin go now." There was no hesitation on her part. Rin slipped from the library with great swiftness and for a second time, ran to her room with more questions in her mind then answers. But the one that troubled her mind was, who was the man she called Master?


End file.
